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Regrets From Slapping My Daughter and How To Overcome This Mistake

I made a mistake. A huge one.

I was playing a pillow fight with my stepdaughter and hit her with the pillow. She stopped and screamed, this is why I hate you.

So I slapped her.

I left the room upset. Not knowing if I was more upset at slapping her or the fact that she hates me. I’m sure she doesn’t hate me, and it was a slip of the tongue at a time of anger. But a part of me couldn’t help but feel unappreciated.

I married my wife, and along with that came here two children. I choose to take them under my wing, just like her biological father chose to abandon them. When she said what she said, it felt like she threw years of work trying to build this family in my face. My stepson has indicated similar statements once before (again when he was angry).

I have no doubt my wife sees us as a family. But I don’t want to be in a position where I see my stepfamily as my family while my stepkids don’t. I don’t even like the word step kids, as I hardly use it. They refer to me as a dad, while I refer to them as my kids.

Imagine spending years to help build this family. Then to be told by my stepchild that I’m not their father or not part of their family.

Do I go apologise straight away for slapping her, or do I leave her some time to acknowledge her mistake? If having and raising children is hard. Then raising someone else’s children is even harder, as you don’t have the same authority over them. Or you didn’t ‘steal their mum from their father’.

While we do have our ups and downs as a family, I hope this is a down we can quickly come out of even stronger. And I’ve learnt in the future I need to calm down before taking action. This will help avoid worsening the situation.


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