do you remember the good old days when your children used to listen to you? Or if they didn’t the worst punishment for them was time out.
The older my children got, the more rebellious they seem to be getting. Let’s be honest, we want the best for our children, but they just don’t seem to realise that. What seems like sincerer advice is seen by my teenage children as being annoying. They don’t seem to understand why I want to get involved in their lives. Or why I want them to do good in school.
I soon realised that the more I was trying with my teenage children, the more they were rebelling. Until I for a short period gave up bothering and trying to help them. Then something amazing happened.
No, they didn’t turn their lives in the right direction and become super successful. But I realised is when I didn’t bother telling them what to do, they started to listen.
To give my teenage children passive advice rather than direct advice to work better at times. I realised I’ve lived with him for years, and more than likely I’m going to be with him for many years to come. Is direct advice may not be the best option, as sometimes he tends to defend against much of the advice I give him.
Whereas if the advice is non-direct, he doesn’t even realise he’s being ‘advised’. And before I know it, he accepted the advice. Whether he changed or not is another topic, as he’s still 14 and needs years to mature. But it’s enough for him to realise that his actions are not the best for him.
For the passive advice to be effective, I look for certain clues when talking to him. For example, I look at his reaction and his body language to see if his board is engaging with me. If his board, I don’t bother continuing and wait for a more appropriate time to advise him.