Why bother forgiving?

why are some people always happy and likable? while others you avoid the like plague. what makes people enjoyable to be with? is it in the genes? of is there a secret to there success. let’s look at some attributes people with happy lives have and see what we find out.

our relationship with people is like a garden. you need to add new trees/ plants water your plants keep out pests and other harmful animals and soon you will see this relationship turn into a beautiful garden. on the other hand if you become lazy with committing to this relationship you will see this gardden start growing weeds and pests will come and destroy everything resulting in a unkempt garden.

you must work on your relationship to see its beauty

relationships are not static, you are continuously pulling towards or away from people, it’s up to you to decide what relations are worth keeping (family being amongst the top of the list) and what relationship you should avoid.

what do we want in life. most people would say to be happy and content. then why do we spend so much time hating, holding grudges and so little trying time trying make ourselves happy. the online would be a perfect example of this. look how many mean comments, foul language there are compared to how many positive comments there are. the evidence speaks for itself, Social media has become considerably more negative in the past 5 years, according to a study by ‘mention’.

past makes present makes future

how you treat others, is how others will treat you. if your not able to forgive others, then people will have a hard time forgiving you. if you are seen as a person who always holds grudges i know i’d avoid you. because people have enough stress and tension in their lives, they’re not looking to increase it, which means they will avoid moody people.

by forgiving people you can reduce stress, if you keep all this anger in your heart this will affect your day to day behaviour without you even realising. what makes matters worse is that you may only realise when it’s too late, after you’ve hurt someone. anger is like a knife, it has some benefits but plays around with it and you’ll end up not only hurting yourself but others too.

the road to change

there are many benefits to forgiving . such as reducing mental health, it will lower stress and overall you will have healthier relationships, but let’s look at how to forgive and in what ways we can make it easier.

thinking about your mistakes and not just focusing on other peoples mistakes will help you become a better person as you’re holding yourself accountable and are more likely to change for the better and accept advice. think about what the person/ person have done to you, in a controlled thought process and ask yourself what you did wrong? how you could have defused the situation? what they did you you, was it an spontaneous action or a reaction?

take that first step to defuse the situation, how many times have minor incidents turned in major arguments/ and what makes it worse is is when you complete avoid or stop talking to a friend because of a small issue. by being the one who defuses the situation it will not only show your maturity but also it would be apparent how much the relationship means to you.

turning anger to love

the relief you get from forgiving someone and repairing damaged relationship is like losing a child only later for them to return would no doubt increase you love for them. also there are countless example of when worst of enemies become the most loyal of friends. but you must work on that relationship to see its fruits.

in these time where hate is so prevalent we need to start loving more, we don’t need to add more dark and gloomy to our lives, we should work on our relationships, beautiful our gardens and strengthen ties of friendship.

conclusion

our relationships are only what we put into them, the more we work on it the healthier it would be. holding grudges will not only harm ourselves but also those around us. by forgiving and letting go of grudges we will not only have more healthier relationship but it will reduce stress, making us more mentally stronger.

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